GRIM:The interTWINWEd episode: Death, Demons, and Decisions

Grim: Oh hey, look who finally decided to show up. Now lets make one thing clear, you're DEAD. Not the laughing at a meme all your idiot friends swear to you is sooo fucking funny kind of dead, not the "Oh shit moms gonna whoop my ass because I didn't take the chicken out the freezer!" kind of dead, oh no, you're dead for real this time. You got a "game over" in the RPG called life. I know kid, take it all in, take this time to reflect, contemplate, write a journal about how hard you fucked up. Sorry for your loss, and I do mean YOUR loss. Of life. Alright, now if you're done getting all weepy, I gotta send you to an [[afterlife]] now.

Grim: Let me guess, you're one of those cynical assholes who thinks everything can be explained by science and there is no God right? Well guess what you close-minded, science simping motherfucker? You can go ahead and piss your ghost pants now, //opens three portals// [[Heaven]], [[Purgatory]], [[Hell]]. Make your choice Einstien, I bet all the books you read by Stephen Hawking didn't prepare you for this shit did they?

GOD HAS DENIED YOUR FRIEND REQUEST. YOU HAVE BEEN BLOCKED FROM THIS ACCOUNT. GO TO [[HEAVEN'S REJECT'S]]

Grim: Huh, so you think purgatory is the place you're supposed to be? It's not too much to look at really, it's like what you mortals call rush hour but instead of a shit ton of cars it's a shit ton of souls. Just floating around endlessly... going nowhere in particular... Hey, are you sure you wanna be here? I mean this is not all a bad choice, in fact I know [[a spot]] down here where things get pretty lively even for dead people like you, but then again it is boring as FUCK down here. It's not the greatest place to be, but it's not the worst place either. Thats kinda the mood around here, it's just a "meh" place to be. It's an enternity of "just ok" kind of days, So again I'm leaving this one up to you, allthough I really should stop doing that, Im the one with the badass scythe and can set can set his skull on fire at will, you're just a see-through sack of shit that reeks of insecurity and self loathing.

Grim: GODDAMIT!!!! FUCK! SHIT! Jesus Christ kid, when I politely told you to go to Hell I didn't mean take me with you! I mean seriously! The fuck did I do?! Look, now I have fire and brimstone all over my nice black cloak! If there's one thing you humans know how to do well it's fuck everything up! nature, drugs, cartoons, education, politics, love, sex, That last one is just literaly FUCKING!!! HOW DO YOU MANAGE TO-?! GAAAAH! I'm starting to think you actual deserve to burn down here with all the liars, cheaters, theives, killers, and the guy who invented math! Especially him! Fuck that guy!! I only have one job, read souls, and send them to an [[afterlife]], and I'm a chill guy, I even gave you a choice, I'm not supposed to do that but I guess this is what I get for giving a shit about the human race! Look there are [[Three doors]] up ahead, looks like we gotta do a shitty second rate Rick and Morty adventure, I hope you're proud of yourself!

Grim: So the Big-G said no, huh? I could've told you that, I mean, you are the mortal scum that litters the earth after all, but all you mortals think that you're entitled to a happy ending don't you? I'm sure all your loved ones told you that you were so special, that you were destined for great things and all that. Hell, they're probably telling everyone that too at your funeral, now Im not gonna tell you you're not but hey, believe me when I say everyone get's the same pep-talk kid. So ask yourself: if everyone is unique in their own little way, then is anyone truly unique? I know, pretty deep shit right? Write a Disscusion Board about it, oh who am I kidding, you can't write or discuss shit cause you're dead! HAHAHAHAHA! ahhh... So anyway you got two choices, [[Hell]], or [[Purgatory]], red pill, blue pill, what's it gonna be? Personally I think you deserve that first one, but you mortals are always babbling on about "My body, My choice." Well technically you don't have a body anymore, but you've still gotta choice cause the ol' Reaper is nice like that, well I'm not nice, I just dont give a shit. So pick one.

Grim: I'm sure you've heard of this wonderful shitshow you dragged us into called HELL, well allow me to bust some myths for you because clearly you don't know what the FUCK you're doing. Y'know the "endless torment" all you mortals think happens down here? Yeah, that only happens on Tuesdays and Saturdays, "Torture Tuesdays" and "Suffering Saturdays" it's called. I think it's pretty sad how they make a whole thing out of it, they probably have something like that for everyday of the week.Think of Hell like a big ass frat house except everything is always on fire and the hazing happens two times a week, and in every frathouse sexual assault almost always happens, only down here it's always on purpose. Yeah, congrats dumbass, you took us to the one place rape is legal. Shit like that usually goes down in the [[lust]] section of Hell. I see that look of despair on your face, don't give me that bullshit, you got us into this mess and you're gonna get us the fuck out! You wanna go cry in a corner? Well there's plenty of corners to cry in in the sinking [[guilt]] pits. Anyway they have this whole room were they watch all the [[pain]] you went through in life and laugh at it. Its like the whole frat house came together to watch the meme compalation that is your existence. Aaaaand the three concepts I just mentioned just so happen to be the three doors in front of us...wonderful. I dont know if I said this already but fuck you.

Grim: So I take it you wanna vist the spot I told you about right? Ugh, me and my big mouth, here I was trying to turn your attention away from this place, because y'know this is kinda MY spot, I sometimes go to this said place called [[Valhalla]] to get wasted and chill with my friends but here you are thinking this is supposed to be some "grand adventure" and you feel the the need to investigate or some shit. Jesus kid, we're navigating through limbo after your death, no need to get all exicted. Soul: Well you did say this place wasn't the worst. Grim: yeah, fair poi-JESUS CHRIST YOU CAN TALK?! Soul: Um, am I not supposed to? Grim: Ahhhh shit. So this is what I get for giving a soul a choice in the afterlife. Soul: Uh, what? Grim: I'm not supposed to give the soul a choice, if I do, some unknown and deadly repercussions could occur, that could explain your unwanted chatter. Soul: Hey-! Wait what do you mean "deadly"? Grim: Oh you know, random portals to Hell opening up in places they don't belong including the mortal realm. Soul: What the fu- Grim: Yeah, yeah, it's very hard to process and shit. Come on kid, we've done this like twice already, if you're that torn up about it Valhalla serves as a bar where you can pour out your feelings as you endlessly pour your vodka shots, now come on, lets get ourselves a drink.

Grim: I knew it, I KNEW you were going to pick this room! Well this is it, this is what you humans think is so great about living! I don't get why you mortals glorify sex so much, it's in your music, on your TV and laptop, (Don't deny it kid, did you really think I would read your entire life and not see your search history?) in your schools, and books, and now it's in Hell too. Who knew the mortal teenage hormones could survive from beyond the grave? Seriously though why give it so much power? I know it's how you people reproduce but that's it, no need for extra bullshit. You mortals have some sort of weird custom where you watch other people have sex but not you yourself, holy shit, the desparation in some of you people! Well I think I've had enough of this room, it reeks of burt flesh and sex in here, thats not a good combo of smells-JESUS CHRIST! Ok time to go kid, aint no way you dragged me down to the firey depths of Hell just to see some demon strippers dacing on some lava poles and more NSFW shit! Back to [[Three doors]], let's go, and they say I'm punishing you, you're punishing me every second we stay here. NO THAT DEMON WILL NOT SHOW YOU A "GOOD TIME"! SHE WILL LITTERLY EAT YOU! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

Grim: Hey, I-uh....I'm sorry I've been so hard on you kid, I know Ive been chewing you out on this entire adventure which wasn't even supposed to happen... I'ts just that I've been doing this for more than a billion years, and each time I examine a new soul, I see the worst parts of them. All their sins, their lies, the pain they caused others, all of it. I've seen the horrible things mortal kind have done, the worst of the worst. Murder, rape, domestic abuse, slavery, trafficking, child molestation, lynching, rasicim, sexisim, overdose, kid, you name the bad deed and I've seen it a billion times over, but I've also see the good things too. The thing you humans call love, joy, happiness, friendship, family, courage, bravery, honor, kindness, and innocence and yet, you take these gifts, these offerings of good will for granted! Y'know over time as the souls of every man, woman, and child flows through the abyss, I read each of their souls, and I despise humanity a little more each a day. Then there is you, a soul who has done so much in life but never quite livied a full one. Maybe that's why you get a say in your ultimate eternal fate, so many choices were made for you, yet you never fully grew to make your own in the life you lived. Honestly, I don't fucking know, I'm just the guy who's seen too much pain and suffering and uses beer to forget about it all. Gotta deal with the suffering of countless souls somehow, right? Ok father, confession time is over. Man, I really spill the tea when I'm drunk. Yes, mythical creatures get drunk too we just don't die as a result, get over it. Hey there's a [[sign]] over here, You can still read, right?

Grim: Oh yeah, this room. This Room is no fun, just don't think of any painful memories or they'll be reinacted and you'll be forced to watch and experience it over and over...ah shit, and there you go thinking about your dog dying, you gotta be fucking kidding me, what did I JUST say? Y'know what? Not my problem, I don't have trauma like that, Have fun with PTSD, I'll be chillinig in that [[Lava pit]] over there.

Soul: Uh it says, "abandon all hope ye who enter here." Grim: Wait a goddamn minute, you just talked! Soul: Ok, and? Grim: So that whole time I was chewing you out... you chose to say nothing? Soul: I tend not to respond to bullshit like that Grim: Ethier you have mastered the art of not giving fuck, or you have serious self loathing issues, and I mean SERIOUS self loathing issues. Soul: I just have a great response to negativity. Grim: //muttering// If that were true you wouldn't have offed yourself, so technically it's both of those things. Soul: What? Grim: What? Oh, it's nothing, I was just saying that this sign being here probably means we're directly outside the gates to [[Satan's Lair]]. Soul: The. WHAT. Grim: Satan's Lair? Y'know the place where the the lord of the nine hells resides? What did you expect? We're in Hell, because of you might I add, so we were bound to encounter Satan anyways. The most common misconception about Hell is that the "abandon all hope" bit is at the gate when you first enter, when in reality it's posted right before Satan's Lair, which kind of gives false pretenses which makes it seem like there was hope was here before this point which clearly there wasn't given the demon strippers and all. False advertisement really is the great mortal sin.

Grim: Hey, this is a shitty lava pit, but thats what I get for trying to find some R&R in the realm of endless torment, Hey, Kid, this place is no good come on. Soul: //Hysterically Sobbing// Grim: Come on, kid it's ok, I think I saw a [[sign]] back that way, you like signs right? Soul: //Sobs Harder// Grim: Yeah I know you do.

Grim: Alright this is the place. Listen, please don't embarass me in there. I know I've been a dick to you this entire time but this is very important to me, ok? This Is the one time I can escape processing souls and relax. Also there are some high class feinds in here, I'm talkin' Satan's right hand man, a couple decendants of Dracula, that weird ass sewer clown from that one book, y'know shit like that. So don't draw attention to yourself, got it? Soul: Is Jesus in there? Grim: The fuck....Why the FUCK would Jesus be in a place like this? I literally just named off a bunch of demons and devils, why would the lord of all creation, the King of the Heavens, the guy whom literally every church is named after, be anywhere near here? Soul: Well Jesus is supposed to be everywere right? Grim: You know what? No, uh uh, I'm not dealing with ur dumbass questions anymore. Inside. Now. //Enters Bar// Grim: WHAT'S GOING ON YOU GOBLINS, GHOULS, AND DRUNKEN FOOLS? Wendel: Hey, Hey! Well if it isn't the drunken spector himself? Hank: Good to see ya buddy! Grim: Hey kid, come meet my crew, the furball is [[Wendel]] and the guy with his head missing is [[Hank]], Im gonna get a drink but as far as you're concerned I'm not here.

Wendel:You must be the soul Jerry brought along. Soul: Who's Jerry? Wendel:Oh he didn't tell you, did he? Of course he didn't heh, asshole, the reaper's real name is Jerry Grim. Soul:Hahaha! Jerry huh? I like it. Wendel: Mhm. He's a bit sensitive about it though, most of the guys down here roast him about it because they all think it sounds "too mortal," call him Jerry and you've got yourself an unlimited reservation in Hell and very pissed off spectere bro, flaming skull and all. Soul:Yeah he mentioned the flaming skull part. Wendel Hey, say what you want about Hell, but personally I woudn't mind going at all. Soul: Wait, wait, wait, you WANT to go down there? Why? Eternal Damnation seems like fun to you? Wendel: Duuuuuude, have you even seen the chicks down there? I mean sure, endless torment sounds like a real buzzkill and all, but the place filled with a shit ton baddies man! Yo dude, Hell is hot for a reason, and the lustful ladies down there make it the hottest. Soul: You can't be serious.... Wendel: Dead. Y'know, I used to date one of them. Grim: //from across the bar// Here we go, Hank: It was one date man let it go, please. Wendel: Ahhh shut the fuck up, you guys are just mad 'cause none of you ever dated a demon. Anyways, so Im just chillin in the woods right? doing werewolf stuff and I see these trees on fire and at first I'm like "Holy shit! Shit's on fire I gotto go!" But then I see this badass looking chick, and maaaaaaaaaan she is fine as fuck! I'm talking, Body? 10. Face? 10. Ass and Tits? 11. So of course, Me being an absolute stud of a wolfman, I shoot my shot, and she happily accepts. Grim: Was that before or after she broke several of your ribs and nearly ripped your heart out? Wendel:Hey! Point is, the date was secured, I treated her to a wonderful devouring of souls, and I told her, "Souls aren't the only thing you'll be devouring tonight." I totally hit that. Hank: One, Gross, and two, I'm pretty sure she hit you. A dozen times over. Grim: The most you got out of your so-called "date" was a halfassed kiss on the lips, and even then your soul almost burst into flames and I literaly had to pull your simping ass out of the fire. Yeah bro, you TOTALLY hit that. Wendel: Well y'know what? fuck you guys! When I have the baddest bitch that is Count Dracula's eldest daughter on my dick, don't you guys dare congratulate me! and kid, if you think my story was so wack, Go talk to [[Hank]]! I'm sure he'll tell you wonderful stories about his oragami collection or how his no-head-having ass gets no head!

Soul: Jeez and he called Jerry sensitive. Hank: Ah dont worry about Wendel, he's cool, real fun to vibe with. It's just when it comes to women he's..... Soul: Chicks are his kryptonite? Hank: Chicks are his kryptonite. Soul: I know plenty of people like him, well, I used to. Hank:Yeah about that, Who are you exactly? and how did you end up here? Soul: Thats the thing I'm nobody, nobody special really. My memories are slowly fading, but from what I remember I was a guy who got tired of the soul killing cycle of life. See, up there you're born, you go to school as soon as you can walk and you're stuck there for most of you're exsistence and when you finally get out society expects you to take all the things you "learned" from all your years in school and use it to find a job just to contribute to society so someone else can go through the cycle again, and then you die. Break the cycle at any point and society abandons you, they stop giving a fuck just like that. So one day while I was going through it I just snapped, I couldn't understand what the cycle was all for, what it was really for, and before you know it, I left it all behind. I don't remember how I died though, maybe some guy who fell out of the cycle had a bad day and took it out on me, maybe I had a bad day and took it out on myself, but when I woke up, this skeleton with a black cloak and scythe is telling me that I fucked up in life. Hank: Damn pal, sounds like you've been through some shit, So why do you think you're here? Soul: Why am I suddenly in a bar with the Grim Reaper, who's an alcoholic, a thirsty werewolf who's simping for a demon, a talking headless guy, and a bunch of other fantastical monsters who only exist in mortal horror films and pop culture? I have no clue. What about you, how are you here? Hank: Me? I'm just one of those fantastical monsters who grew up in one of the many realms of the underworld, well, actually Im the great grandson of the headless horseman but he's kind of irrelevant now, so Im a bit of a nobody myself. but I found friendship in those two assholes over there and they helped me find purpose in purgatory, because of them I have more confidence in myself and I just feel like a better person around them. So if I can find meaning, then maybe, just maybe you're here for redemption. Soul: Redemption? in a place like this? I don't follow. Hank:You said you fell out of the cycle in life, right? well maybe this is where your second cycle begins, in death, a fresh start. Soul: Huh, that's actually a good way of looking at it. Y'know for a guy with no head, you sure have yours on straight Hank. Hank: Hey man, thanks for being honest. Grim: Hey, uh, so drinking is no longer fun once you realize you have a god-like metabolism so uh yeah you guys wanna do something or what? Hank: It seems like nice night for the [[Tombs]] Soul: What tombs? Grim: It's a place where me and the boys go some nights to kill zombies for fun an- wait, no, NO! You are NOT coming with us to the tombs, this is not some field trip where you get to sightsee! I'm supposed to be taking you to your afterlife! Soul: Well technically I'm already sight seeing, Hank: You did take him to this bar, Grim: That doesn't count! I took him here because I needed a drink, also because he's kinda my job I am still working, technically. Come on, me, you, and Wendel can fight hordes of the undead like we always do, and he can go to [[The Glad]]. Soul: The Glad? Hank: The Gladiator Pit Soul: There's a Gladiator Pit, in the Bar?? Grim: Why do you think this bar is called Valhallah? Because it sounds cool? Soul: Um...yes? Grim: No! unlike mortals, down here, we mean the shit we say! Hank: Hey, Where's Wendel? Grim: Probably murdering his chances of finding true love or happiness, //looks over// this motherfucker....He's with a damn succubus let me get that idiot before he litteraly gets fucked.

Wendel: Remind me why we're bringing this random mortal along with us again? Grim: I'm gonna have to go with the simp on this one, I clearly expressed why he shouldn't go with us on this trip. Hank: Come on, guys, cut the kid a break, I think it's nice he gets to join us on our little tradition of zombie mercy killings. Besides he's discovering a whole new world beyond all he knows. Wendel: Key word there, OUR tradition, as in you, me, and tall-dark and bones over there, and if we wanted to show him a whole new world we would have hooked him up with that one chick and the flying carpet, not star in a way cooler rip off of The Walking Dead. Grim: Cut it out with the mortal references. Wendel: Just tryna be relatable jeez. Grim: HA! you think that sack of shit is relatable? Do you know what he's done? He cheated on his wife multiple times, never showed up to his little sister's funeral, helped an old lady only half way across the street, I mean seriously, who the hell does that? and that's only the first half of his life. Soul: You're an asshole, you know that Jerry? Grim: The fuck did you just call me? Soul: Yeah that's right, I know your real name bitch! The reaper is supposed to escourt souls, not judge them. You're not the scary myth people make you out to be, you're just some goddamn lazy drunk who thinks he's so much better than everyone else just because he carries a stick with a blade and wears black! //The reaper gives you a hard shove, his skull now ablaze with an intense green fire, his scythe is at your throat, he speaks to you a voice low and cold// Grim: Now you listen here and you listen well. You need to realize that you arent in the land of the living anymore, I'm not some guy you can talk shit to any kinda way. You gave up that privillage when you blew your own fucking brains out. You may not remember how you died, but I do, you're a sad, selfish, little cunt who couldn't catch what life threw at him so you threw it all away just to lay down and die. Consider it a mercy that I'm a "goddamn lazy drunk" because if I was stone cold sober, I would've sent your sorry ass so far deep down into hell that you'd beg only to be on the first level. Hank: BOTH OF YOU STOP! Nobody is sending anyone anywhere! We're here to relax and have fun, and if neither of you can do that then you can get the fuck out right now. Grim, dont be such a hardass when it comes to your real name, show some restraint, and you, he's right, you don't know anything about anything when it comes to this place, so stop acting like you know shit now. Wendel: So uhhhhh if everyone's done losing their shit, I'd like to address the massive hordes of undead, like right in front of us. //Waves upon Waves of undead crawl slowly towards you, the giant mass of rotting bodies are like an ocean of the decayed// Grim: How many do you count, Hank? Hank: Millions, mabye billions. Wendel should only take an hour or so... Soul: What about me? Grim: You should stay here. Hank: Grim... Grim: BUT we could use the extra help. Wendel: Ok, you guys know the drill, first to 10,000 kills wins. //The foursome leaped in to combat readying themselves for the massacare they were about to commit, before long they were all hacking and slashing their way through the hordes. The reaper cuts through the waves of rotting bodies with his scythe, the curved blade slicing through cartilage and tissue. The werewolf mauls away at the rotten flesh, in this one moment of sheer berserker rage, the wolf in the man fully takes hold. The headless man set them all ablaze with a tundra of fire, the flesh of the dead boil in the wake of the concentrated inferno, their snarls and screams are cut short as the blaze melts away the remains of their vocal cords. As the horde of corpses continue to pile on, they are turned into a mess of guts, ash, and rotten bone. the soul had no weapon so you do your best to fight off the undead.// Grim: HEY KID! LET ME SHOW YOU WHAT A GODDAMN LAZY DRUNK CAN REALLY DO!!! //The reaper plunges the wooden end of his scythe into the dirt, his eyes glow green and a smile comes across his face, a mixture of green aura and pure darkness swirl around him, and with one upward thrust massive green chains of fire rip from the earth, wraping around a horde of zombies causing them to explode// Soul: Woah.... Grim: Heads up! //He tosses you his scythe// Soul: what are you- Grim: Not judging souls now use it. //As you grip the scythe dark energy swirls around you can feel the presence of a million souls all at once, and with one big burst of energy all the zombies are evaporated from your power//. Grim: Nice job kid, Soul: What did I just do? Grim: Fuck with power you should never mess with. YOU BEAT EVERYONE IN THE GAME OF ZOMBIES. GO TO [[Ending #2]]

Grim: Welcome to The Glad, the place where monsters, beat the shit outta each other for other monster's entertainment, or are you familliar with that sort of thing considering humanity does this 24/7? Soul:yeah, yeah, humanity sucks. I get it. Hank:Looks like the cyclops is getting his head smashed in again by the golem, poor guy, at least he put in the effort. Wendel: I would've smashed too, if SOMEONE hadn't snatched me away from the greatest moment of my life!! Grim: It was a succubus dipshit! Those kind of relationships are always one sided Wendel:And that would have stopped me from fucking because?? Grim: You're right Wendel, it wouldn't have stopped you, because hooking up with a demon whose sole intention is to have sex with you and then devour your soul is totally an example of a healthy and balanced relationship. Wendel: Fuck You. Soul: Hey Grim, aren't you supposed to y'know, take that cyclops soul to an afterlife? Grim: Can't he's immortal, as long as his soul wishes to fight, I can't touch him. Soul: So he gets to fight forever? Grim: Yup Soul: Damn that's pretty intense Grim:It's a fight club kid, It's their native language. Hank: Hey look at who's up next, who the hell is "Bitch-ass Mortal?" Wendel: Serves you right for not listening to my story asshole. Grim: THE FUCK DID YOU DO?! Wendel:I signed him up to fight! Soul: YOU WHAT?! Hank:WHEN DID YOU REGISTER HIM TO FIGHT?! Wendel: The succubus offered me ten rounds if I showed her a good fight in the Pit! Grim: YOU'RE A FUCKING DUMBASS!!! YOU RISKED A MORTAL SOUL FOR SOME PUSSY?! Hank: Well whose he up against? Zombies? Skeletons? Giant Spider? Wendel:Thor. Soul:THOR!?! Grim: this mother- Soul: Thor, like the God of Thunder Thor?! Wendel:Do you know another Thor? Hank: WHY?! Wendel it seemed like a good matchup. Soul: FuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!! //starts sobbing// Grim: Look kid, I know this is bad, but you have to fight him. There's no way out of this. Hank: Gee thanks, Wendel! Soul: How do I beat him? Grim: He's a god but he can bleed, // breaks beer bottle// here take this. Soul: A shank?! You want me to kill a god with a shank?! Wendel: David beat Goliath with a rock so you're good Grim: SHUT THE FUCK UP WENDEL!!! he's right though, you gotta have faith or some shit like that, now go! Hank: You got this kid! This is your redemption arc! //Thor and You as the soul step into the ring. Lightning crackles around the large man as he grips the mighty hammer of Mjolnir and you clutch a broken beer bottle. Thor spins his hammer at rapid speed,// Thor: Surrender and you will die quickly mortal. Soul: doesn't sound like a bad idea, truce? Thor: No. //Thor Launches his hammer at the soul just barley misses your head, the impact of the hammer creates a massive crater in the wall behind you// Hank: He's gonna die Grim: Probably //As the God contiues to take massive swings filled with fury, you manage to find openings and cut Thor, eventually drawing blood from his pale flesh// Thor: RAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!! Hank: Did Thor just roar in agony? Grim: He did. Wendel: I might get my ten rounds after all. Hank:You're not getting shit. //The God of Thunder is severly cut, bruised, and bloodied. With one final attepmt, Thor charges up is hammer, and leaps high in the air, You stand back in fear, with only a single shard of the bottle left in your hand// Thor: DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!! Soul: NO YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!! //You plunge the shard in the God's throat. He falls from the air, lightning fades from Thor's body and his hammer lands on his skull, splitting it in two and killing him.// YOU KILLED A FUCKING GOD. GO TO [[Ending #1]]

Grim:HOLY SHIT! Hank:HOLY SHIT! Wendel:HOLY SHIT! //The crowd roars in applause and hundrends of monsters rush the stands. You just killed a God// Grim: Kid....You killed a fucking god..... Soul: yeah.... Grim: Do you know what this means? Soul: I can finally go to Heaven? Grim: No! What did I tell you about that happy ending shit? You can fight forever now, you killed the champion of the arena. Now you're the champion. Soul: So what now? Grim: Well this is your afterlife now which means my job is done here. It's been real kid. //Opens portal// Grim:Oh yeah, you're also worthy of Thor's hammer now, so uh, have fun with that. //he leaves// //Mjolnir lies in a deep crater in the arena, it's head still crackling with thunderous power, the handle now stained with the blood of the fallen god of thunder. As you place a firm grip on the handle the roar of the underwordly crowd is drowned out by the sounds of thunder that only you can hear. With one of the most powerful weapons in the underworld and beyond in your hands, you weild such a weapon with the fury of a new god in it's prime. It shall fly through chest of devils, shatter the skulls of demons, and for all creatures who set foot in the gladiator pits of Valhallah? They too shall taste the full might of a new god's fury and lighting. In life you were nothing more than a mortal crushed under the weight of the trials and tribulations of life, with bones so brittle they'd break with the slightest hint of pressure. In death you've evolved to something greater, a patron of purgatory, the gladiator made a god, Vallhallah's vengence. In the Underworld, those who fear you and adore you all know you by one name: STORMSHADE. And what of the fallen god Thor? Yet another soul lost in the storm of the abandoned in the vast abyss of purgatory, and cursed with an undying fate. Though some say the late thunder god can be seen endlessly drifting in a frozen desert ruled by a devil of mischief...//

Wendel: Damn it! Alright, who took out all the zombies in one fell swoop? Hank, was it you? Y'know that super nova shit you do from your head hole is not cool man, It may look badass from the outside, but I'm telling you it's a total vibe kill. Hank: When have I ever done the super nova thing? Wendel: Remember that one time we were at your parent's house and your head got stuck in a horse's- Hank: Alright! Jesus! No, I didnt do the super nova thing. Jesus, just don't finish that sentence, you said you'd never repeat that story! Wendel: Hehhehe....What about you Grim? did you to anything super OP-why is the kid holding your scythe? Soul: I-I still don't understand, Why give me the scythe? Grim: to prove a point, to show you that being a reaper isn't easy. Kid when you held the scythe, you felt the pressure of over a trillion souls all at once in all its intesity, your mortality caused the explosion which should wiped you from existence, yet here you are, proving me right. Every time I hold the scythe, I feel that same pressure, that same intesity, hence the green fire when I nearly sent you to hell just now. I'm in control of it all though, simply by not giving a fuck, and a shit ton of alcohol. Wendel: I'm sorry, are you saying the kid set off the explosion with your scythe??? Hank: Really? Grim, the most reserved guy in our friend group, just told us a huge secret about himself and thats your takeaway? No wonder women can't stand you, Wendel: Asshole Soul: What's gonna happen to me? I touched your scythe, does that mean I become you or something? Grim: What? HELL NO! as a matter of fact, Give me that, //takes scythe// Well, I know one thing Heaven aint gonna take you now that you've touched a cursed weapon, and I'm now too lazy to send you to Hell. so I hate to say it, and trust me I really do hate say it but... you're stuck with us. Wendel: WHAT?! YOU'VE GOT TO BE FUCKING WITH ME! Don't tell me he's joining our merry band of three? Hank: He is? Wendel:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?! Hank: LET'S GOOOOOOO! Welcome to the crew! //With the carnage now over, the four uncanny warriors of the underworld walk back to Valhallah to indulge in one last drink. In life, you were alone, exiled from the common members of society, longing break the chains of societal expectation, only to entangle yourself in the many shackles of unending desire that eventually became a new prison of your own making. In death you have found comradery in the strangest of beings: The reaper, a drunken spectre who keeps the balance of mortal fate despite is hatred for them. The wolfman: A raging beast that wears a fascade of lust and arrogance, and the headless man with a heart of gold: A being that holds hellfire within but will not hesitate to fight for friends. Together they have a bond like you've never seen before, with this company you now keep, you feel you're ready to follow them and start on the path of redemption.//

Grim: Alright we're here, the throne room should be just up ahead but we're probably gonna have to fight a shit ton of demons to get there so-are you quivering? Soul: U-uh N-No Grim: Don't bullshit me you stuttered just now. Soul: Yeah I'm fucking terrified now. Grim: Yeah that's fair, there is a possibility that you could get trapped here forever and I'd be powerless to save you by law of the natrual order. Soul: //lip starts to tremble// Grim: Oh God, please don't cry, we already went through the guilt pits remember? also it's pretty embarassing considering where we are. Soul: //crying// I don't wanna die down here! Grim: Ok, one: you're already dead, that's been established. and two: if you don't like it down here, just kill the guy in charge. Soul: We can do that? Grim: Sure we can! We'll walk in there, commit mass demon genocide, and feed Lucifer all six of his hearts. You and me kid, how 'bout it? Soul: yeah lets do it! ???: Nobody's doing jack shit! Grim: Ahhhhh damn it, not this piece of shit, Soul: Who is that? //A humanoid-like demon superhero-lands infront of you// Grim: Kid, this is Don the Demon, Satan's #1 dick rider. Don: I'm his right hand man! Grim: Just a fancier word for dick rider. Soul: It's also the hand people use to mastrubate with, Grim: See? He gets it, Don: Shut the fuck up! No one is touching the mighty Lucifer! if you wanna see the bossman you'll have to go through m-//The reaper decapitates Don with his scythe// Soul: JESUS! Grim: What? he said if we wanna see Satan we'll have to go through him, so I went through him. Soul: You could have let him finish, Grim: He'll have plenty of sentences to finish, he's immortal, come on. //you two enter the throne room// Grim: LUCY! COME OUT AND PLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY! // You two are immediately surrounded by thousands of demons, they all circle you, eager to devour your soul.// Grim: Alright kid, pick one my [[scythe]], or these badass [[gauntlets]]?

Soul:give me the scythe. Grim: take it! //As you take thec scythe, darkness swirls around you and you feel the the chill of death in it's form most raw and pure you cut down the demons with ease. wave after wave of demons fall at the swipe of your blade. As you slaughter your way to Satan's throne, you can smell the sweet scent of the devil's fear with only two swipes to the demon's chest, you remove all six hearts, and the lord of Hell is no more.// YOU KILLED SATAN WITH THE SCYTHE: GO TO [[Ending #3]]

Soul: Give me the guantlets! Grim: Give em Hell! //With the Gauntlets of the Grave, you split skulls with a single strike, demons beg for mercy at your feet, but you grant them none, you end them with savage blow after blow. no demon is left alive in your wake, not even the demon king himself. With six blows to Satan's crimson chest you rip out each heart, you deliver a seventh uppercut blow to the demon's head taking it clean off.// YOU KILLED SATAN WITH THE GUANTLETS GO TO [[Ending #4]]

Grim: Fuck, that was a lot of demons Soul: Lot of blood too //you give the reaper back his scythe// Grim: Keep it. Soul: What? Grim: Keep the sycthe it's a good look on you, kid. Soul: I don't- Grim:For a long time I wanted to do so much more than just deliver the wicked souls, I've always wanted to make them suffer for what the did to humanity.Instead I just simply delivered souls, my great power wasted to be an errand boy of the cosmos, but no more. Lucifer is dead, and I shall take his place. So congrats kid, Have fun being the new spectre of souls, but promise me this, when you get the worst of the worst, you send them directly to me. Soul I will. //As you open a portal with your newly acquired scythe, The sound of low chuckles slowly ascending into mad howls of laughter echo from behind you, A deal with the devil has gone in your favor. Darkness ingulfs your essence as you enter through the portal, before you is the absence of all things. The void surrounds you in all of it's totality. Welcome to the abyss. By just being in this blackness you begin to feel the change of your very being, the void that smothers you begins to take shape in the form of a cloak, the hollowness you once felt begins to fill with the presence of solidity. Teeth start to grow where your mouth once was, and you now feel the joints and ligaments in your fingers as if you were returning to life once again, or perhaps entering into a state of undeath. Your transformation into a humaniod form is not complete though, in the place of what would've been your skin, blood, muscles, is the jade necrotic aura, the very energy of death made tangible. the scythe you wield feels lighter, as if the weapon itself is made aware of your worth. Also made known to you is the sight of a small cabin in the distance. Perhaps what lies in the abyss is not the mere absence of things, but things that remain hidden, only to be seen by a worthy few. The cabin itself seems to have been cloaked with a mix of obsidian and oak wood, its exterior design resembles more of a small shack, with it's splintered wood coming from it's walls and fractured shards with a twilight glow perched low from it's roof, but even with all it's overt imperfections, it's a place you'll call home. The souls of billions upon billons of mortals are your only company, and you can see them all through the steel arc of your scythe. Every now and again, you gaze upon the souls of the deceased and send them to their fate only known to you and God himself. Eternal darkness has become a paradise and fortunetly for you, you never have to leave//.

Soul: I-I did it! Grim: Yeah, a little to well. Soul: Who the fuck cares?! I killed Satan!! Grim: I can see that. //you stare at Satan's vacant throne, and suddenly you have a thought, what if..// Soul: What if... What if I became Satan? Grim: Ohhhhhh no. Kid, I know what you're thinking and it's not a good idea, trust me. The bastards will respawn soon and one of them will take the mantle. Walk. Away. Soul: If another demon takes the mantle then it starts all over again, but I can be BETTER than them, I'll make sure that bad things will happen to bad people, I can make sure that the next Hitler suffers twice as much! Every rapist, racist, and killer, THEY'LL ALL BURN!!!!!! I WILL CLEANSE THE EARTH OF ALL THAT IS WICKED! EVERY MAN, BUT NOT JUST THE MEN, BUT THE WOMEN AND THE CHILDREN..... Grim: Children? Listen to yourself kid! you're- Demonic Soul: I'M WHAT?! JUST ANOTHER SOUL PASSING THROUGH YOUR ABYSS?! YOU JUDGED ME! RIDDICULED ME! YOU DIDN'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT ME, AND NOW HERE YOU ARE LECTURING ME ABOUT POWER?! WHO ARE YOU TO LECTURE ME?! YOU'RE ONE OF THE MOST POWERFUL BEINGS IN THE UNIVERSE AND YOU WASTE IT DELIVERING SOULS!! GET OUT BEFORE I DESTORY YOU. Grim: So that's how it is huh? //Gives you the finger// see ya around kid-Oh, I'm sorry, Lord Satan.